Sunday, November 16, 2008

The dangly bits

I've always owned mares. Gabe is the first gelding I've had of my very own. Most of my friends have geldings, my family had geldings when I was growing up and I know what a pain in the bottom gelding hygienic care can be. With mares you just hose off their girly parts, pick the gunk out from their udder and you're good to go. No fuss, no muss.

Geldings, they pull all their boy dangly bits up where you can't get to 'em. You either have to wait for them to hang their boy bits out in the breeze so you can grab and go, or, you have to have a vet out to use pharmaceuticals to encourage them to dangle for all the world to see.

We were working on Gabe's run-in shed again today and he presented the perfect chance for me to check and see how clean his boy bits were. Standing there next to me, content with a good scratching and lots of attention, he dropped and relaxed. So, I did what any opportunistic gelding owner does, I reached out and grabbed his boy bit to check for a bean and look for general boy part health.

And Alexis squealed with shock and horror. "Mom! I can't believe you just grabbed his PENIS! Oh, gross! Don't you dare touch me with that hand! Ewww!! You have PENIS germs on your hand!" Sixteen year old girls are so funny and so easily grossed out.

I couldn't help it. I laughed and asked her if she would hold it for a second so I could pick some smegma off it. She squealed again and gave me that "Oh My GOD! Mom you are so gross!!!" look.

He was nice and clean, but really didn't care for me messing around with his parts too terribly much.

8 comments:

  1. Jenn, that is so hilarious!

    My mare won't let me touch her titts! I have to get really warm spray water going and distract her..my hand must be too cold. There has to be some bigger distraction for her to let me near that part of her! Fussy!

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  2. Too funny! Thanks for the reminder though, The boys are way past due. It's dental time too.

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  3. Good job of grossing out your 16 yr old. It's good for them... ?Is it okay if i chuckled at your pest the other day? -Okay, because i laughed out loud at Gabe's antics. Dont tell your hubby.

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  4. Love your terminology! Boy bits! LOL!

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  5. Ha ha ha hee ho!! You are too funny! And...good for you for grossing out your daughter, does em good!! You know what's really embarrassing?? I 've always had mares too, until "the boys" came along and with boys come winky cleaning, so...I started early with Ladde, you know so it wouldn't be a problem when he got big...anyhoo...guess I did such a good job - now he loves it!!! He will even lift his leg for easier access - ha! I try to keep that just between us. But, Harley - don't even THINK of touching that winky of his...his lower eyelid droops like a cocker spaniel eye and shows all the red insides and he starts switching his tail and he makes little grunting sounds - if you don't get the hint, he'll swat you in the face with his tail and stomp his foot. Too funny!

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  6. Have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING Jenn and fam!

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  7. Oh man, now THAT's FUNNY about your daughter freaking out! LOLOLOL

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  8. LMAO...poor Gabe...does he know you discuss his "boy bits" online for all the world to see ;)

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