Monday, November 10, 2008

The 6-foot menace

Robert called my horse a great big, toddling brat. More than once. He even threatened to sell him for glue. *gasp!* Poor Gabe was dubbed a turd, a brat, a rotten brat, a spoiled toddler and a snot.

Why would my big, sweet horse garner such awful monikers?

Because he was being all of the above.

We are building a new run-in shed in Gabe's paddock. Saturday Robert and Alexis (my teenager) meticulously measured and staked out the spot where the new run-in is to be built. Robert, who is becoming more and more a horse person every day, realized he couldn't leave the stakes out there in the paddock with Gabe and asked for suggestions to protect the beast from the stakes. I was impressed that he realized all kinds of awful things could happen to a horse left in a paddock with a bunch of wood stakes sticking out of the ground. I suggested inverting used gallon bleach bottles over the stakes to make them more visible and less dangerous.

I thought it was a pretty good idea. Robert and Alexis cut all the tops of the bottles so they would fit over the stakes, slipped a bottle over each stake and considered it good.

Gabe considered the whole thing a brand-new toy. Within minutes that big brat had every. single. bottle. pulled off the stakes and smashed. He smashed them flat with his teeth and with his feet. He tossed them around a bit and tossed them into the air. Once the bottles were flat and no longer fun, he proceeded to yank out every stake out of the ground and toss them willy-nilly around his paddock.

Oh, he had GREAT fun destroying all of their hard work! They were none too pleased with my big goof ball and the name-calling commenced. I think he even got called a steak at one point!

So, back out we went the next day to start on the run-in. Gabe would NOT leave us alone. He was in our faces, resting his head on our backs, nuzzling around in our hair, trying to grab sleeves and coats in his teeth and being a general pain in the butt. He even managed to steal a corner measure, a hammer and a level and take off with them, like a rotten little toddler. Do you have any idea how hard it is to swing a hammer when you have a horse right behind you trying to STEAL the hammer? Ugh.

So, that bugger got tossed out of his own paddock for being a way too curious big ole pain in the butt. I think he was a bit peeved that we kicked him off the playground and he threw a little bucking fit.

But I love him anyway. If he wasn't such a turd, he wouldn't be so much fun!


  1. NO that is really quite funny. He is quite smart and thought you'd= finally got it about him, with allthose bottles!!
    What a big bad boy he is with all his naughty behaviour!
    I think it is these run in sheds..they bring out something in a horse...just read "food for Founder" blogspot...her shed,that her husband and friends labored over, the horses decided was too scarey..but then would go in, then would not eat in there...all of it over the sheds!
    Mine do dart occasialnally outof thier run in stalls and try to go over the top of us..eeek!
    But ya..the big horse pills...we love em!

  2. I think maybe you should have listened better when you bought him. They were saying "circus clown horse" and you were hearing "blah blah blah...Race horse."

  3. Thanks for responding to the question from Julie Goodnight. I read your response when i went over to her site. You did a great job of explaining what you see in the horse world these days, and you did it without sounding like frantic "Chicken Little". Calm, level-headed reasoning is what i saw in your response...good job!